Funny Quotes

Cool Funny Quotes

Here is our collection of Funny Quotes most inspired and funny passages on fun, you can send these Funny Quotes to your friends/family where ever you want to send. Here we provide the best quotes of the world. SO read these quotes and enjoy your life. Have a funny life. :) :) :) :)



Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you 
love me, so now I'm scared!
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The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', 
the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills 
with a hug?
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I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely 
awesome!
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When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.-
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Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.
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If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
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Those who snore always fall asleep first.
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There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
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I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
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It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something
 something complicated.
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The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the 
distance to the bathroom door.
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If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it 
means you don't have Internet!!
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Man came down from the tree, then he cut the tree down.
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No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
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Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: 
this movie is good, but the book was better!
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My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine, unfortunately the pharmacist 
said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.
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I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
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When we go to seafood restaurants I tell them 'Just water for me, thanks.'
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I'm fast, great and unstoppable! You're a train??
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All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.-
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I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit 
in this zone.
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I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
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Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.
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God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
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I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
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